THE LLANVIEW CRAZE
Mitch,
Please!
Roscoe Born's
return to OLTL is an early holiday gift for us,
and a nightmare for
the citizens of Llanview.
Hello,
kids. Another busy week and little time to muse upon Llanview's
goings on. In fact, next week I'm so busy that I won't be able to do
the column. We're hoping to get a last minute guest columnist, but
there is a chance we won't be updating the column next week. If that
is the case, I apologize in advance. It's just not going to be
possible. Hopefully though, by the time a fortnight rolls around,
there will be much praise to heap on One Life to Live - if last
week's return of Roscoe Born was
any indication. One might say Mitch
Laurence is hardly any more multi-dimensional than the cartoonish
Carlo Hesser, but no one can deny the exceptional power and depth
that Roscoe Born brings to the character. Mitch is ever so
fascinating despite his tendency to be written as "evil." Perhaps
precisely because he is a self-appointed prophet of God and thereby
a long-worshipped cult figure, Mitch can somehow be both
cartoonishly evil and exceedingly enjoyable at the same time. Thus
far, his return has been handled with the usual mix of excitement
and sloppiness that is par for the course these days, as far as OLTL
is concerned. I'm over the moon Mitch is back, but I'm also
perplexed that the writers couldn't think of a smarter way to write
off Jared. It would be one thing if Jared had fallen under Mitch's
sway, and went to great lengths to keep Mitch at bay. But instead,
he was merely fending off an unknown blackmailer threatening to turn
Charlie in for a crime about which there was absolutely no evidence
or witnesses. For that, Jared lied to Natalie and soiled his own
reputation and relationships? Why? Nothing about Jared's exit
makes sense at all, including that Mitch shot him in front of
multiple witnesses. But such are the shortcomings I expect when
getting my hopes up. At least Mitch is back, and just as riveting
as ever.
Monday, 11/9:
"SKIN AND BONES"
- The Mitch
commercial was awesome. However, even though everyone and their
mother gets spoilers on the internet and/or had already figured out
Mitch was coming back, isn't it kind of silly to put a Mitch
commercial on right before the very episode in which he returns? I
guess they are trying to snag the All My Children viewers, but I
don't get why OLTL commercials come on right before the episodes.
And I still terribly miss the previews. I'd much rather have
previews than commercials.
- The Nash
skeleton was a great visual, but I have to sincerely question if it
resembled anything even remotely close to what Nash would actually
look like after being in the ground for a year and a half. And did
they seriously bury Nash with his mouth stuck open in a scream
position?
- Why is Rex
able to order around Michigan police? Either they're going to
arrest someone or not, regardless of who Rex's father is!
- As soon as
Gigi went back to Schuyler's place, I instantly knew Roxy would see
her.
- I liked the
Carlotta/Cris scenes today. Sandra Santiago is a better Carlotta
than Patricia Mauceri, I think. She is more of a human and less of
a stereotype. I still disagree with the scenes over which Mauceri
left the show, but I'm happy with Santiago. Now if TPTB really want
to treat her like a real character, they should give her something
to do other than be Cris' mom. I thought she should have become
mayor, but at the very least, I think she deserves a love interest.
- Jared's
constant vaguery and shouting is really on my nerves. Perhaps this
is TPTB's way of preparing me for his death - by making him as
annoying as possible right before killing him off.
- Is it just
me? I thought the Gigi/Schuyler scenes at his apartment were pretty
great. I don't find much on soaps to be genuinely romantic, but
something about their connection strikes me as very real. I am so
completely over the idea of Gigi/Rex (not that they were ever that
great of a couple). Hopefully the "Stacy dies" rumors will prove
true and we can all move on with the real triangle here. Though
like I said, I don't think Rex is going to be able to really compete
for Gigi after seeing the connection Gigi and Schuyler have
developed. It's pretty strong.
- There was a
spark of chemistry between Kyle and Layla today. Too bad.
- What was
with the lame make up job on Fish? If someone gets dirty, they
should look dirty. Fish looked like a make up person came over and
put three brush strokes of black soot on his face.
- Another
great Mitch commercial in the same day! But who do TPTB think they
are snagging with these commercials? Maybe if they showed the
commercials sometime other than during the soaps, they might
actually do some good!
- My heart
kind of melted when Schuyler held Gigi in bed. The writing was
really good, too.
- Finally,
Roscoe Born has returned. And even though he only had one line
today, it was utterly bone-chilling. The theme music was absolutely
perfect as well. All I can say about Mitch and Roscoe is that his
presence is a huge boost to the show. Just seeing Mitch on my
screen again, for me, was the most powerful moment on the show since
Jessica remembered her baby had died.
TUESDAY,
11/10: "BACK FROM THE DAD"
- It's been
like two weeks since the election and we still have no idea who
won. WTF?
- Excuse me,
but how did John figure out Mitch was behind the stalking? Is he a
freaking psychic now?
- Mitch seems
to be more unhinged than ever.
- Smart of
the writers to have Layla bring up Sarah along with Evangeline in
her hesitation about being with Cristian. Sarah was her best
friend, and Cris really jilted her. Evangeline isn't the only
person currently off the canvas who could return to the show to try
to screw up this couple. Not that I want Sarah/Flash back because
in my opinion, she is a cursed character that will never be cast
well. But if somehow she could be properly cast and written as a
completely meddling bitch, her return might not be such a bad idea.
- Who does
Oliver think he is kidding, coming out naked in a towel and acting
all innocently? Oh, Puh-lease!
- For
whatever reason, I'm falling for Danielle. Even though I don't buy
the Tea back story, I am buying Danielle as her child by Todd, 100%.
- Can Clint
please be turned back into the Asa-like bad ass he was a couple of
years ago, once he gets dumped by Nora the Whora? And can he please
go and rescue Lindsay from prison? Remember when Lindsay was
getting involved with B.E. and how promising that was??? How
about this: Lindsay marries Clint again and then Clint dies. Lindsay
and Nora wind up in a power struggle over the Buchanan empire after
Clint leaves everything in his will to Lindsay. I'd pay to see
that.
- Wait...
Jared didn't know that he was working for Mitch? What the hell,
writers?
- Love the
creepy and misogynist bible quotes from Mitch. I forgot how creepy
Mitch made religion out to be!
- I'm going
to start sounding like a broken record, but you're going to have to
get used to this: I LOVE ROSCOE BORN. Really, I think he is the
absolute most powerful actor in the entire genre.
- Jessica
never told Brody about Mitch? Are you kidding me? This episode is
getting stranger by the minute!
- Now I'm
completely confused. Is it just me, or is Mitch making it sound
like he's been up and about for years, assembling his new "flock?" I thought Mitch has been in a vegetative state up until very
recently? I am very confused, writers!!!
- David: "Maybe I should get a wheelchair. Attract a rich woman - big heart,
small brain." Hah hah. But as much as I adore Tuc Watkins, I find
David Vickers lately to be completely uninspired. I'm sorry, but
was there ANY point to this most recent David Vickers visit?
- Not
Christina Comes Home for Christmas again!!! Oye vey.
- The end of
this episode was pre-empted for coverage of the memorial service at
Fort Hood. No disrespect intended, but if I wanted to watch a
memorial service, I would not be watching a soap opera in order to
escape reality. If you want to show a memorial service, then put it
on the nightly news or on cable. Why am I being forced to watch
it? News coverage does not belong on the television during my soap
opera unless it is something I need to know for my own safety. A
memorial service does not qualify.
Wednesday,
11/11: "SING ALONG WITH MITCH"
- Blair
sniffling while watching Christina Comes Home for Christmas (in
mid-November) equals HARD EYE ROLL.
- Hold
up... how is it that Mitch has been living on an organic farming
commune if
he was in a coma? I am extremely confused.
- The Viki/Charlie
scenes were great, and they have a lot more coming up!
- Jared did
all of this for a random blackmailer? What kind of proof did they
have on Charlie? Why didn't he trust Natalie and inform her of what
was going on? I think this writing is very sloppy.
- Also, if
Mitch wanted Jared dead, why the hell didn't he kill him sooner? And why did he wait until there were several witnesses around to
shoot him?
- You know
what I was secretly hoping would happen? I wanted John to fire his
gun at Mitch but accidentally hit Jared. If that would have been
the reason Jared died, the storyline fall out could have been really
explosive and could have potentially taken John in a more
interesting direction. If that's even possible.
- Why was
Jared trying to get shot? Did any one else notice this? He kept
stepping out to where Mitch had a clear shot at him.
- I grew
to like Jared, but if I'm being honest, I don't think he will be
very missed in the long run. His contribution to the show was
providing Natalie with a good partner that she actually had
chemistry with. But as a stand alone character, he kind of
sucked.
- I see that
the writers have decided to make Ross a psychopath, while suddenly
thrusting Elijah into the spotlight. If I were Michael Lowry, I'd
be concerned.
- I'm very
perplexed that Mitch shot Jared in front of a bunch of witnesses.
That doesn't seem very Mitch-like to me.
Thursday,
11/12: "THE GREENHOUSE EFFECT"
- Why don't
they rename the show, "One Life to Live - On an Airplane?"
- Okay, I
don't mean to start a conspiracy theory here, but we did not see
Jared get shot. Mitch fired the gun, but they did not show Jared
getting shot. Also, Jared was stepping out in front of Mitch,
almost seeming to want to get shot. Was there a bullet proof vest? I was hearing a rumor awhile back that Jared would be faking his
death. I'm sure that's not what this is, but I couldn't help but
notice that they didn't show him getting shot. Thoughts?
- I'm so sure
Marcie is that pregnant. Didn't she just become pregnant like three
months ago? Now she can barely walk. Puh-lease.
- Sean and
Destiny scenes = zzzzzzzzzzz.
- Rachel and
Greg scenes = zzzzzzzzzzz.
- Actually,
TPTB screwed up by giving the Evans family a patriarch and
matriarch. The only way the Sean/Destiny relationship would
interest me at all is if he was her guardian. Watching someone
relatively close to my age trying to raise their teenaged sibling
would be kind of interesting, especially if that same character was
feuding with their other sibling - in this case, Greg, who is the
oldest and should have been the one raising Destiny in the event of
the parents' deaths or whatever. The Evans parents were unnecessary
additions to the show. If Destiny is able to run off to Europe and
her mother is not even around to scold her, then TPTB should have
just let the parents be dead and have Sean as Destiny's guardian.
But as it stands, Destiny going and whining to Sean while he whines
right back about Rachel, is just totally irrelevant and boring.
- Holy crap. Viki and Charlie made it from Llanview to Napa Valley in less than
five minutes.
- I'm
confused about Danielle's age. I read that she is supposed to be
only 14. To me, she looks and seems to be about 17 or 18.
- Even though
John is a dirty cop, I can't really blame him for bashing Mitch's
head into that pole.
- Has Destiny
dropped out of school? She has been out of school for many weeks.
- Why do I
get the feeling that sooner or later, Roscoe Born and Brian Kerwin
are going to set the screen on fire together after Jared is dead?
- Marcie is
the worst liar/actress I have ever seen. How could anyone believe
her fake labor?
- And now
she's going into labor for real? Give me a break. She would barely
be showing by now.
- TPTB seem
to be testing the Tea/Eli chemistry. I gotta say, it's pretty
good. But why are TPTB doing that? If they are thinking of
Tea/Eli, and John/Natalie, and most likely Blair/Ross, then is it
just folly to allow myself the hope that they might be toying with
revisiting Todd/Marty? I'm trying to see how the puzzle pieces fit
together, and I'm starting to see a Todd/Marty part of the puzzle
again.
- Roscoe Born
and Erika Slezak are not messing around. They are going for their
Emmy clips, baby.
- Speaking of
Emmy clip, Kathy Brier kicked some ass while Marcy gave birth. Such
hokey writing overcome by imaginative acting!
- I can't
stomach Blair anymore. I hope I love her again someday, but right
now I just want her to be humiliated and shamed in public.
Friday,
11/13: "ANGEL OF DEATH"
- Nice
montage with Mitch reciting the Lord's Prayer in the creepiest
manner possible, while Jared got wheeled toward his death and Marcie
hunkered down to pop her 3-month old baby out. I thought Matthew's
surgery would be part of the montage, but they decided not to show
it.
- So... am I
interpreting this correctly? Is Jared's soul supposed to be going
into Marcie's baby?
- Smart line
of dialogue about Schuyler "having rules" regarding relations with
drunk people. Very 12-step of him.
- Gigi made
Noelle sleep at her house and basically be Shane's mom for a day,
while she slept off her liquor in Schuyler's bed, then went along
with Noelle's lame lie about her whereabouts. Not smart, Gigi. You
are looking like a cheater even before you've cheated. Just have
the decency to dump Rex, please.
- Kathy Brier
is really good today. Chris Stack, once again, reminded me of how
much it sucks that Nathaniel Marston got himself fired. Because
it's just not the same.
- What is
John thinking, saying he's taking Mitch back to Llanview? Mitch
just shot Jared in California in front of many witnesses. That is
the crime John can nail him on. He's not going to nail him on
Pamela's murder! There is no evidence. John is so stupid.
- I love that
Brian Kerwin is FINALLY getting something to play other than the
doe-eyed buffoon shadowing his wife all day long and asking
rhetorical questions. This man's talent has been sadly wasted for a
long time now. Time to let Kerwin get his next Emmy reel together!
- Okay, when
I found out Charlie killed someone, I didn't realize that Charlie
was unaware of this! Kerwin's reaction to this news was amazing. I see a bottle
of vodka in Charlie's future, I'm afraid.
- But I still
fail to see why Jared went along with any of this. Where was the
proof of Charlie's guilt? Why would Jared even take Wayne Landers
seriously? An ex con reporting a murder from decades ago based on
hearsay? Lame.
- Also lame: Jared's failure to trust Natalie.
- How sweet
that Marcie named her son after Gabrielle Medina, in honor of Al. I
wonder if Chris Stack even knows who Al is?
- Melissa
Archer just KILLED IT. If there is any doubt about this girl's
talent after Natalie's reaction to Jared's death, then someone is
just plain old hatin'! That was a "wow" moment, and I think there
will be more to come. I just wish so desperately that John was not
involved in the story. The last thing I would wish upon
Archer/Natalie is another round of Jolie.
**MAIL
REPORT**
"After being bored with One Life, the return of Mitch Laurence
really livened things up. I got chills just watching him. If only he
was acting against better people. Could you imagine if he crossed
Tea? That'd be a much better showdown than him going against brain
dead Blair and Todd." - Nic
I could not
agree more about Mitch being a God send (ironic!). Roscoe Born is a
genius. I outlined some ideas for Mitch stories awhile back, and
one of the first things I thought of was Mitch hiring Tea as his
lawyer and then becoming obsessed with her. I would love to see
Born and Florencia Lozano in the same storyline. I'm sure they'll
interact soon enough.
"When Carlo Hesser
was brought back the last time, the whole story line with him and
Tina Lord was quite simply put, a joke. I truly hope that since
apparently Mitch is coming back that once again the powers that be
do not waste yet another golden opportunity with poorly written
storylines. Not only when that happens does it ruin the current
story line they are going for, but it totally rewrites history of
the canvas........... Even though this is fantasy fun television,
when the writers undo all the history of our beloved characters, it
diminishes the fun and belief and the drama we have enjoyed for said
time." - Glynis
I am sincerely
hoping the return of Mitch Laurence pans out better than the most
recent Carlo Hesser return. That was painful. It basically ruined
my long standing love of Carlo. The Tina return was equally
abysmal, though I'll always love Tina and Andrea Evans. Her time
was utterly wasted upon her return, as was ours. Mitch's return
could go either way, but I'm cautiously optimistic because in my
humble opinion, Roscoe Born is the most interesting actor on soaps.
He's in a league of his own. Mitch can be written as a cartoon just
as Carlo was, but I sincerely doubt Born will play him as a
cartoon. Born has a rare knack for nailing the campiness of the
genre while bringing something both real and original to what he
does. Mitch is one of my favorite soap characters, and I think it's
more in spite of the writing and because of Born's talent. Let's
cross our fingers!
"The whole gay
marriage thing was so stupid that I'm surprised Vikki didn't win by
a landslide. Dorian can not overrule her state legislature and make
the marriages legal. For goodness sake, the President can't do
that. It's just nuts and the press would be on it like flies on
poop." - Linda
I will never
understand why Carlivati or anyone else thought it was a good idea
for Dorian to pretend to be gay and promise to become a legislative
vigilante, and actually think that would cause her to win the
election. I can't remember a storyline being less believable since
the 1968 time travel. I'm all for Dorian cooking up outlandish
plots, but I'm not for her becoming a fool or a clown.
"Your comments on
OLTL's 11/2 episode where spot on. The whole gay marriage thing was
played as a comedy from my perspective and it lacked any real drama,
romance, suspense and passion. It was a joke, and Dorian is the
butt of it! I hate when soap characters make a 180 to suit. My
dearly departed GL learned that character inconsistency can kill a
soap." - Kenneth
Sadly, I could
not agree more.
"I'm almost
shocked about this but I find myself liking Chris Vega after years
of hating him and his whole family. Someone had the good sense to
put him with Layla but the bad sense to only bring them around the
gay men. You are very brave to speak your mind on that subject. I
don't mind having gay men on TV but like other folk they need to be
exciting. A cop and a doctor are not exciting. More folk agree with
you but I guess that can't be said because they are gay and that's
just a crying shame. It shows that we ain't really progressed much
if you can't say the gay characters we got are boring." -
Peggy
I am equally
shocked to find myself loving Cris Vega. I really love him and find
nothing offensive about David Fumero anymore. That is truly a soap
miracle, because just a few years back I hated Cris more than anyone
(especially when he was paired with Evangeline and when he turned
into a boxer). Peggy is right about the gay characters - the only
interesting thing about them is their gayness. And in this day and
age, that's not really interesting on its own. Fish has always been
a fairly dull nerd (perhaps funny in small doses), and Kyle went
from a borderline evil day player to apparently, a sweet and
extremely boring guy with no personality. Gay or not, Kyle and Fish
are adding weight to my eye lids.
"What do you think
about the actress playing Todd and Tea's daughter? She definitely
looks the part and seems to be able to act. But I want to see her up
against Trevor St. John before I make my final opinion of her." -
Lindsey
Those scenes
will be next week. Rarely have I taken so quickly to a newcomer as
I have to Kelly Massal (Danielle).
I really like
her. Physically, she is perfectly cast. As an actress, she seems
to pack quite a confident punch. I completely buy her as Todd and
Tea's daughter. I think there is huge storyline potential for a
legacy feud between Danielle and Starr. The key to this story's
ultimate success, in my opinion, is to let Danielle be a bitch. Massal has the built-in vulnerability and complexity as an actor so
that Danielle would not become one-note. But since Starr has become
such a boring goody two-shoes, Danielle needs to take on the role of
the bitch. The Todd/Danielle relationship could be one of the best
things to happen to this show in awhile. It could really throw a
lot of characters off. It could shake up Blair, Starr, Cole,
Nora/Bo, Viki, the Vegas - just about everyone. This is a new Lord
heir. I am most curious to see what happens to Danielle when she
finds out her entire life has been a lie, and that her new father is
a rapist and very wealthy. I haven't made a final opinion on Massal,
but as far as newcomers go, I'm really happy. The way the OLTL
casting department has been so royally screwing up lately, Massal's
casting is a borderline miracle.
"What if Allison
Perkins is Schuyler's mother??? That would still make him Rex's
brother (assuming Mitch is the father of course)... what do you
think?" - Patricia
Oh, Patricia,
it pains me that I did not think of this myself! I think it is an
ingenious idea!!!
Robert Iger,
President of Disney (ABC Parent Company)
robert.a.iger@disney.com
Anne Sweeney,
President of Disney-ABC
anne.x.sweeney@abc.com
Brian Frons,
ABC Daytime President
500 S. Buena
Vista St.
Burbank, CA
91521-4551
Brian.Frons@abc.com
Frank
Valentini (Executive Producer)
C/O One Life
to Live ABC Daytime
77 West 66th
Street
New York, NY
10023
frank.valentini@abc.com
ABC Comment
Line: 323-671-4583
OLTL Viewer
Comment Line: 212-456-3338
ABC Daytime
Feedback Line: 212-456-7777
Thanks for
reading, and don't forget to e-mail me. PLEASE include your name or
an alias in case I choose to print your comments!
Until next time - don't forget to feel the Craze!
