UPDATED 10-12-09

CRAZE

Wrong Heads Rolling

 The soap industry and OLTL continue to mystify
their loyal fans by firing all the wrong people. 

Howdy, folks. While reading back last week's column I decided it was too vicious and that I had misplaced some of my anger toward certain actors on the show. I was surprised not to get any really negative mail, but I still feel like I should apologize. We edited out some of the more vitriolic statements, so some of you (the early birds) read a different version than what is there now. I wrote the original column last week while in a rancid mood. I was also in a rush and didn't have time to edit it. So when it went to print I was essentially reading it for the first time, and I was a little shocked at myself. I hate rushing, and on top of that, I decided to write about the possible cancellation next year. I didn't know what else to write about (I would have done something about Gina Tognoni coming back and storyline ideas for Kelly, but she's not going to be on until 2010, so that will have to wait). I didn't realize that sitting down and really giving thought to the cancellation rumors would make me so mad. But it did. I hate what is happening to the industry and in my opinion, it was all preventable. The networks did this to themselves, and they did this to us. But I took my frustration out on certain actors when it's not their fault they were hired by a television show despite being incompetent or untalented. It's easy to blame the actors because they are the main product we are ingesting on a daily basis while watching the show. But ultimately someone like Crystal Hunt is not responsible for the Stacy character, her storyline, or the soulless way in which the writers portray her. That doesn't mean I won't be criticizing acting in the future (can you imagine?), but the actors are not primarily at fault for the show's shortcomings. It's difficult for me, as a critic, to know who behind the scenes is responsible for what - so the most available person to blame is the actor. It's true that I don't enjoy Crystal Hunt's performances whatsoever. But she didn't hire herself. It's not her fault if TPTB don't care about an actor's ability to well, er... act. 

Isn't it funny (... or not) how TPTB decide to keep certain actors and storylines going which are complete failures, when other actors/stories get cut despite their promise? Remember Wes? You know, Brody's best friend who was both caring and tough? A true anti-hero in the making, you might say? Remember him? Remember how he gave Marty a safe place to stay during her time of anger and confusion?  Remember how he liked Marty but never pressured her into sexuality or anything, and seemed to really be looking out for her? And remember how he had a genuinely deep connection with fellow war veteran Brody?  As far as newcomers go, Justin Paul Kahn was pretty stellar. In fact, he was probably the best actor to come off of the Soap Star series. Wes was a great addition to the show.

But then they killed him off. For no reason. Just like that. As part of the dreadfully stenchy Powell/Rebecca serial killer storyline. Killing Wes for that storyline was so not worth it. And now look where we are: Marty and John are a complete dud, and Natalie is going back in John's direction. So we'll have a dud of a triangle. That's what I call a lose-lose situation, folks. If only Wes were still around! Wes and Marty had potential, but I bet Wes and Natalie would have really set off sparks. Wes could have easily sparked with any number of female characters, come to think of it.  Blair, Tea, Jessica, Gigi, Natalie, Marty, Tea, Kelly when she comes back...I know there's nothing they can do about it now, but I still have to ask why. They got rid of Wes and gave us...Stacy and Kim? They get rid of Jared, someone involved in a successful couple with chemistry and tons of storyline options? Why did they get rid of Wes' potential or Jared's proven reliability for storyline yet saddle us continually with the worst character since Tico Santi (Stacy) and her little dog, Toto? I mean, Kim?

I keep hearing how much "better" Kim is than Stacy. Really? Why is she better?  Because she is a brunette? Because the actress is perhaps one tenth of a fraction better than Crystal Hunt? I don't see it, folks. In fact, I think Kim is far worse than Stacy. Stacy is the main problem, but Kim is only on the show because of Stacy.  Everything Kim is doing is for Stacy's benefit. Her presence on the show (ever expanding, in case you haven't noticed) is an extension and reinforcement of the Stacy storyline. Kim has absolutely no life of her own, and I have no desire for her to have one. I just don't want her to exist when characters like Renee, Clint, Roxy, and Charlie are languishing with little to do. TPTB have their money story, and that's Rex/Gigi/Schuyler - it actually works. Now can't they get to it and get Stacy and Kim outta here? They are just cheap strippers - fake, superficial, and totally dull.  But at least Stacy was fighting for something whereas Kim is just an assistant. I'm not going to make it personal toward the actors anymore. But I'm not going to be shy about how I feel: Stacy and Kim need to go, and they need to go now. I'm going to say it every week until they are gone. If TPTB are smart, they'll let Mitch kill Kim on-camera and then torture Stacy for awhile just to please the viewers who despise her ever so much (and that's "hate to hate," not "love to hate," just to be clear!).

But back to Jared's exit. I will admit that the revelation of his duplicity has been entertaining in a way and oddly believable, especially since it has "re-write" written all over it. I can believe that Jared has remained a con man all this time; what I won't accept is any implication that he didn't love Natalie or Charlie (not to mention Bree and "Chloe," whom he practically raised on behalf of Natalie's deranged sister).  That's where I have to draw the line, because - hello - I have been watching the show for the past two years. And if Jared wanted revenge on Jessica so badly, surely he had plenty of opportunities to accomplish that before now. He could have kept her from Bree, for one, by convincing Natalie to sue for custody. He also could have blown the secret about Chloe/Hope sky high long before anyone else found out about it. The writing is pretty dicey in this storyline so far, although the presentation of it is relatively amusing. Frankly, I've been impressed with Brotherton's mostly subtle work. I'll miss his scene work with Brian Kerwin's Charlie.  That's where Brotherton shined the most.  

I always enjoy Brian Kerwin - even though most of what TPTB give him to play with (follow Viki around and ask stupid questions) is barely worth mentioning. But I'm worried for Kerwin. Amidst rumors that he will be the next cast member let go, I must object and ask TPTB to reconsider. Under the guise of cutting costs, and with Jared leaving the show, it would seem plausible that TPTB are preparing to dump Charlie. Then they'll let the Bo/Nora stuff play out, and reunite Viki and Clint once his marriage to Nora is over. I have to vigorously object to this possibility. Though we all enjoy a good Viki/Clint scene from time to time, the show must not reunite them. Viki does not love Clint in "that way" and never will again. The last time Clint pursued Viki, he treated her like crap and she is too smart to forget that. Besides, since then Viki found true love with Ben and now a second shot at that with Charlie. Clint is not an appropriate option for Viki anymore. Brian Kerwin is such an asset to the show, though he's been completely underused.

Charlie needs his own storyline after Jared leaves. To start, TPTB should give him another kid. I see two options to tie Charlie to the canvas again and give him something to do other than follow Viki around. The first option would be for Charlie's other son, Jared's younger brother, to still be alive. We have never met Charlie's ex-wife. I say bring her to town and reveal the secret that her other child with Charlie is still alive. Let her try to break up Charlie and Viki. She can be unstable and dangerous. How about a big name stunt casting for this short-term role? What about Kim Zimmer? Can you imagine?  OLTL should gobble her up at least for a short-term gig, and put her up against Erika Slezak. What do you think is going to bring ratings up - that, or a pregnant Stacy? Give me a break.  So who could Charlie's missing son be? The most logical choice for my money would be Brody, who also desperately needs to become more connected to the canvas.  Charlie and Brody already have a good father/son-like rapport, and I think a biological connection would work well for them. Or TPTB could go another route and have Schuyler find out who his biological father really was (he mentioned not knowing his father growing up). Through a lost journal or secret safety deposit box kept by his mother, Schuyler can discover that his father was an alcoholic man his mother briefly had a fling with. Charlie and Schuyler would make an excellent father/son combination (they are both addicts, as well), though I suspect the writers are angling to turn Schuyler and Rex into brothers via Mitch Laurence. In any case, Charlie belongs on the show and furthermore, needs another child/family connection to give him a storyline.

Are you listening, Frons/Valentini? Kim Zimmer. Charlie's ex-wife. Call her agent.  Tell them I sent you (hah hah).   

Monday, 10/5:  "A TALE OF TWO HUSBANDS"

-  Tuc Watkins as David: "I'm not a homosexual and I will not pretend to be something that I'm not." The irony is killing me.

-  Jessica might as well just pull her nipples out of that shirt because they're the only part of her breasts that aren't already hanging out.

-  Jared is now a murderer? Did we really have to go there? Or was it perhaps... Mitch?

-  If Jared managed to con everyone in town for years, how is that he's so bad at his current con? I mean, the phone calls, his computer...there's a record of his duplicity for all to see. I thought Jared was a smart guy? So I'm thinking maybe this has to do with Mitch, but I'm not sure. Mitch wouldn't mind screwing Natalie over again.

-  LOL Alert: John just dialed a phone number using only his middle finger, and he only hit five numbers. In fact, it looked like he dialed 5-5-5-5-5. Who's number is that, exactly?

-  Thumbs up to the Tea/Ross scenes. Another contrived storyline being played believably.

-  Well, well, well. Amelia (formerly Mel) just waltzed onto the canvas and integrated herself, didn't she? 

-  Oh, I get it.  Bo and Nora are going to have to convince Greg to snap out of it and operate on Matthew before a second-rate surgeon beats him to it. 

-  What on earth is Amelia up to? I'm intrigued.

Tuesday, 10/6:  "AN ARRESTING DEVELOPMENT"

-  Okay, Fish knows Stacy is pregnant...and then just takes her word for it that she was already pregnant when they had sex? If someone told me that, I would start investigating. Maybe Fish could hire Rex to investigate it. Maybe then Rex will finally get a clue. He's been dumbed down so far and his appeal is gone. Rex, that is. 

-  Only in Llanview do you call a movie theatre to make reservations!  Please.

-  All of the sudden Gigi has a strong crush on Schuyler. I've got to say that I love it. I'm sad Rex is ruined, but I like Gigi/Schuyler.

-  Here's an idea: Rex sees Gigi and Schuyler kissing or worse. Rex beats the crap out of Schuyler, and Gigi dumps him. Rex runs off and gets hammered and has sex with Kim. Stacy sees them have sex, miscarries her baby, and blames Kim. Stacy goes completely psycho again and kills Kim. She is arrested and sent to jail, where her cell mate is Lindsay. Lindsay pretends to be insane again and convinces Stacy that she thinks Stacy is Jen. Lindsay has a psychotic (fake) episode at her parole hearing, convincing everyone that she believes Stacy is Jen. The judge orders her sentence dropped and that she be remanded to St. Anne's...where her roommate is Allison Perkins. And Stacy is never seen again.

-  I forgot how much I can hate Todd sometimes. This is one of those times. How dare he act self-righteously toward Tea? Todd has no right to judge anyone. I hate him when he's like this.

-  Stacy wondered if she is the reason Fish turned gay. I think she may have a point.

-  Todd is not hurt. He's angry, but he's not hurt. That kind of proves that he doesn't really love Tea. The only woman who has ever hurt Todd is Marty.  Obviously Todd does not know how to love anyone, but I think the only person he really FEELS for is Marty. Everyone else he just blames and screams at, and I have a hard time watching that.

-  I also hate Blair. She has become such an awful, soulless shrew. In a way I guess Todd and Blair would be perfect for each other, but I cannot possibly stomach that.

-  Gigi is becoming my favorite character (are you listening, Farah?) because of her detestation of Kim and Stacy. Her face when Schuyler and Kim kissed in the theatre was beyond priceless.  Personally, I almost puked in my own mouth when Kim and Schuyler kissed. 

-  So in Llanview, not only do you call to reserve your movie tickets, but you also watch the movie with the lights on.  Yikes.

-  Is Kim independently wealthy? Where is she getting money?

-  It's just a matter of time before we see Gigi having sex with Rex while thinking of Schuyler. 

-  Todd just pushed Tea. Please tell me I did not just witness that. Thanks, TPTB, for ruining a great couple.

Wednesday, 10/7:  "CHILDREN OF A LESSER TODD"

-  That's the best episode title ever.

-  For some reason, I don't buy that Cole is a neat freak and Markko is a slob. It seems like it should be the other way around. Or maybe they'd both be slobs. But Cole... a neat freak? Maybe the image of his bedroom when he was on drugs is etched too permanently in my mind. Remember that sty?

-  Why is Jared even speaking to McBane (Of My Existence) without a lawyer present? Dumb.

-  Although I must say John is actually treating Jared pretty fairly today. He's being honest and dropped the snarkiness. Someone probably caught onto the fact that John was slipping back into that ultra-unappealing zone of being a dick head.

-  Speaking of dick, Blair really needs some professional therapy. Her fantasies about Todd after breaking up his marriage were really disturbing to me. I think if I were female, I would be embarrassed by Blair's existence. 

-  What do we have here? Natalie/Todd scenes!? Don't get me wrong - I so approve. I love it. But notice Natalie is only being put into scenes with someone outside of Llanfair now that Jared is leaving. It's like her coming out ball. "Hello, Llanview. My name is Natalie and they are letting me out of the basement now. Please have a scene with me because they just turned my loving husband into a creep overnight."

-  I wish Tea had dumped scalding coffee on Blair rather than water. "Rise and shine, bitch." Indeed.

-  So now Charlie doesn't trust Jared either? WTF, writers?

-  I find it disingenuous of the writers that normally nymphomaniac Langston is so repulsed and offended to see herself and Markko on video about to have sex. I'm pretty sure, knowing Langston, she'd be curious enough to watch it once. What's the big deal? The main thing is to make sure it is destroyed and no one puts it on the internet! By the way, what ever happened to that hot sex tape of Lindsay and Rex? Ah, those were the days.

-  Pardon me while I daydream about Lindsay and Dr. Troy. I'll be back in a minute.

-  Carlotta (who is apparently invisible) is wearing a Viki For Mayor button, yet she allows Dorian to take over her place of business and hold meetings while no one is buying food? Bad for business, lady.

-  What kind of alternate dimension is Ron Carlivati living in, where a small town candidate for mayor uses an out lesbian to help get the Latino vote? Umm... the Latino vote usually sways Democratic on its own, but on social issues they tend to swing conservative (it has something to do with religion, I believe). Yet Dorian is holding a meeting for Latino voters and tackily announcing Amelia as "a lesbian," as if that is going to appeal to the Latino voters particularly. I'm confused. 

-  But how hilarious that Dorian is using Adriana's paternity as a credential with the Latino community, when Mr. Santi was a renown drug lord and mafia boss?

-  They aren't wasting any time with turning Amelia into a little schemer, are they?  I respect that the gay people running OLTL (and let's face it, the show has flat out "gone gay") are willing to depict some shady homosexuals scheming about. It still beats Daniel Coulson.

-  Have I mentioned that Nick is awesome? The fact that he's scheming a bit just shows he has even more in common with Kyle. But if Kyle wants a boring life with Fish, fine. Keep Nick and give him someone new. Where is Ford? If OLTL is so balls-out gay (no pun intended), why don't they have a hot gay couple being sexy and soapy instead of Fish and Kyle who are so freaking serious and non-sexual?  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. 

-  The Tea/Blair scenes were thoroughly entertaining and just how I like my soap - bitchy. I was cheering for Tea all the way. Though I have no idea why she would tell Blair her secret. But Tea's brain turned to mush a while ago.

-  Putting Nick with the teens as a teacher - yes!!! 

-  LOL Alert: Tea and Blair slap and punch each other in the face, then go right back to talking. Most people don't rebound from the first punches thrown.

-  Mr. Rivera... there really aren't any words for this man.  He is an ape.

-  What to say about the porno debacle? It made no sense, but it was pretty funny in a very silly way. Why would the porno come up on screen on its own? And why would Markko be unable to turn it off? Why would he have uploaded it anyway, to a screen in the middle of the family room he shares with a roommate? Was he hoping Cole would watch it with him after the girls left? And why, after the porno started showing in front of the Riveras, were the Fantastic Foursome unable to figure out how to turn it off, short of Starr unplugging the computer (not a smart thing to do)?  Um, all they had to do was flip the screen down!

-  Hmm. Nick and Amelia. What is their deal? Are they just liberal activists or shadier than that? Rush Limbaugh would have a field day with OLTL right now! Can you imagine your grandmother turning on this episode? Llanview has gone gay, folks.  Real gay. Like, there's so many gay folks in Llanview that some of them get to be bad gays now, to help offset the good gays. Of course, I prefer the bad gays. And yes, that includes Amelia. I see potential. In fact, I think she needs to pursue a lady friend of her own. How about Layla? She's sworn off men and is open-minded?  As long as it's not Stacy or Kim, I'd love to see it Amelia hook up with someone  I think Madame Delphina wouldn't mind.

-   Did you notice that Tea is the only contact in Todd's entire phone whose name starts with "T"?

Thursday, 10/8:  "DEFINITELY, BABY"

-  Forget the Latino vote - now Dorian thinks that if she pretends to be a lesbian with a black girlfriend, she's going to win? What is this, San Francisco? How funny.

-  LOL Alert: Dorian making sure there were plenty of mojitos on hand "for the homosexuals." I seriously feel like I am watching a program on Logo, the gay network. Nothing wrong with that - it's just very new for daytime.

-  Whoa. Starr announcing out of nowhere that Langston was pregnant! That was bizarre. I guess she made her point, but for a second I thought maybe Starr was being that little troublemaker we all miss so much. 

-  A.F.R.O. and C.O.W.? 

-  The Dorian story is funny, but... Dorian is too smart for this. She would not listen to Amelia so blindly.

-  Why does Tea pretend not to have a child? It doesn't make much sense, does it? But it does turn the tables a bit on Blair. She's not going to like Todd having another baby mamma. Margaret was crazy and dead. Tea is alive and kicking.

-  Florencia Lozano's face (can we call her FloLo?) when Blair went out the window was priceless! Someone would be wise to hire her to star in a horror movie. 

Friday, 10/9:  "THE DEFENESTRATION OF BLAIR CRAMER"

-  Whoever wrote that title deserves a big 'ol "WTF?"

-  LOL Alert: Destiny telling comatose Shaun that Dorian was marrying a woman and that it was a "sister!" Hah.

-  LOL Alert:  Dorian inexplicably reciting the lyrics to Madonna's "Like a Prayer" during her press conference.

-  WTF Alert: The entire press conference. In fact, let's say press conferences in general in Llanview. Anyone who holds a press conference gets to be on television in the middle of the day, presumably interrupting the soaps. This happens all the time. And everyone around town is standing there with the television on. No one is working, no one is at school. They're all watching a press conference about some case Bo and John are trying to solve, or some political candidate pretending to be a lesbian. And what about those vicious gay reporters hounding Dorian right off the bat, "You're not really pro-gay!" Um, that is not how reporters behave if they wish to be taken seriously. 

-  Why are the windows at La Boulaise (and Llanfair) so freaking fragile?

-  I LOVE that Roxy was on today, but what was the point of those Roxy/Jessica/Brody scenes?  Why did Jessica feel the need to go and give Roxy all of this info? If anything, Roxy could have been integrated into the scenes at the police station and mixed it up with Viki and Charlie. 

-  Why aren't Starr, Langston, Matthew, and Destiny in school? We know it's a school day because Starr said Jack and Sam were at school. Even though Sam is like three years old.

-  My eyes hurt from rolling them too hard during all of the Rachel/Greg scenes. I'm sorry but they are killing me softly with boredom.

-  LOL Alert: Roxy asking Jessica if she "was Tess today."

-  LOL Alert:  Roxy saying that she heard Tea "eats cops for breakfast."

-  Can anyone explain how falling on a pool cover saved Blair's life? That's not much of a padding. And why was there a pool cover in the middle of the press conference

-  Still hating Todd. 

-  Markko, Langston, and his parents have been hanging out for at least an hour and they are still standing up for no apparent reason.

-  Did anyone else find it awkward when Langston was asked to pray with the Riveras? That was very presumptuous of them.

-  I was with Tea all the way as she bit off Fish's head and served it to him on a platter. And then she called him "Junior." How great.

 

**MAIL REPORT**

"I couldn't disagree with you more, if Michael Easton was not on OLTL I would not be watching. He is the most important part of OLTL."-  Janice

Okay, Mr. Frons, you can stop pretending your name is Janice. I know it's you... no, just kidding.  But I'm sure Brian Frons would be delighted to read this statement. Of course for an old school fan like me, Easton/McBain is kind of like the anti-Christ, the bringer of the end of days (cancellation, as it were). If Erika Slezak, Robin Strasser, or Agnes Nixon were deceased, they would roll over in their graves at the thought of John McBain being the most important part of One Life to Live. But I'm sure Janice is not alone in feeling this way. 

"I was very sad about the impending removal of Jared; not necessarily because John Brotherton was the greatest actor, or that Jared was the greatest character, but because I actually believed in Natalie and Jared. The character and the couple had at potential, and that was exciting. The couple complemented each other well, and (unlike John) Jared actually truly seemed to love Natalie. I suspect that after their part in Nash's death, and being kept prisoner in the secret room, RC didn't know what to do with Jared, especially when they aborted the Natalie/Jessica feud. The fact that they may now be destroying that to create a Marty/John/Natalie triangle is disgusting, especially since I know both Natalie and Marty (two strong, intelligent women) will be demeaned and reduced to squabbling over John while he watches and lets them make the decision for him.  Gross."  - Krista

Ditto, ditto.  Everything Krista says here is golden for me.  

"Loved your blog this week. I go back and forth between thinking the cancellation rumors are just rumors to thinking this is a done deal that cannot be reversed. I also bash OLTL with love and will be very sad if its off the air next year. But you are so right that they don't help their cause by making their characters morons. I've written you before about how much I love Brody, but why do he and the Buchanan's have to be sacrificed on the isle of stupid to pave the way for John McBain to save the day? Two months ago Brody tells us that Commissioner Buchanan is "on the case" of the stalker and Clint is bringing in more security at BE.  Viki freaks out (appropriately) that someone got on the grounds of Llanfair to contact Bree and draw a heart on the window. Yet smart people with apparently unlimited financial resources and police connections just let things be so that any old parolee can wander around the Llanfair patio making phone calls and the like. This apparently was all done to set up today's scene in which John grabs a cell phone off a dead body and hits "return call" to hear Jared's cell phone ring. What genius police work?!? I know little kids who can use the "return call" button as well. It's bad enough that the TPTB have made Bo into a keystone cop, but please, please, please don't sacrifice my beloved Brody so he can become the dumber sidekick to John McBain. And poor Jessica just gets stupified more and more. What happens when you are being stalked and your 5 year daughter recognizes a man lurker in the bushes as "daddy"? You run off to the PD to leave her with the never seen or heard Lois and then upon discovering a dead body on the patio you hang out to see what "brilliant" detective work John will do without taking a moment to ponder what Bree might be up to at that moment. Why hasn't Clint hired bodyguards for all these people, and why is Jessica so apparently unconcerned about the safety of her or her child? I thought this stalker storyline might have had some good drama for my dear Jess and Brody, but I now I see its only destined to dumb them down."  - Tessa

These are some brilliantly astute comments! But Tessa must think more highly of Jessica than I do, because it never even occurred to me that she should run off to make sure Bree was okay and had not seen a person murdered (maybe she did?).  I would never expect Jessica to act like a normal, sane mother. Like I said last week, Bree is destined to grow up with D.I.D. like her mommy and grandma. TPTB could easily say she was abused at some point during the past year. They could re-write Jared as a child rapist. They might as well since they've already turned his entire presence on the show for the past three years into a criminal lie. Actually, I'd like to see Bree develop split personalities while she's still a child. Why not?  Entertain me, I say. 

"I agree the show does a lot of things right but has some areas in need of improvement. We don't agree on what all of those things are, however. I actually like the Greg character and the portrayer; the character comes across to me as very real, if not emotionally stunted, and I think there is real potential between him and Rachel. Yes, he chews some scenery, but at least he's putting his heart and soul into it."  - Tim

I can't argue with that - Terrell Tillford is 100% committed. I do wish his acting was more layered and thoughtful rather than generalized emoting. But there is a passion there that is lacking in so many actors in the cast. I have seen moments of Rachel/Greg potential, but lately not so much.

"Tea returning was a godsend, but what the heck is up with the lack of story for Marty? I can't imagine her getting caught up in all the Mitch business that's about to unfold, so where does that leave her? The chemistry with John is non-existent, and the therapy between her and Todd had so much potential but lasted for only one session? They seem to have begun writing for Blair again at the expense of Marty; at this point, I'm hoping Thorsten Kaye comes on board as Patrick to give Marty something to do."  - also Tim

Poor Susan Haskell. I really don't know what else to say. Without Cole, there is almost no reason for Marty to be on the show. John/Marty is such a joke, and TPTB obviously know it because they never show them together (and they JUST finally had sex for the first time in years). They either don't want to write for Haskell or don't know how. I would not be surprised if she's out the door soon. I thought Thorsten would come to OLTL but unless it's to whisk Marty off the canvas, I don't think that's going to happen any time soon.  We'll see.   

"So, Gina Tognoni is back. I like her and I do like Kelly BUT I'm worried about whose storyline/airtime is going to be cut. I have a feeling it's going to be Blair AGAIN! OLTL spends the BIG bucks to bring back Susan Haskell, Flo Lozano and now Gina Tognoni. RC will probably write HER a front burner/Emmy worthy storyline like they have for Marty and Tea. I don't want to see Blair end up in another triangle. I think it's hilarious to see that John/Marty has failed so BADLY! RC wouldn't listen to us would he? Now, if he only would put John/Blair back together and give THEM the attention and storyline they DESERVE!"  - Sheree

I'm a huge Gina Tognoni fan, and I'm definitely psyched about her return. It's been a long, long time coming. Recasting the role of Kelly never worked. Of course she will get a huge, front-burner storyline. She is coming back to the show as a huge star, with even more power and accolades than Michael Easton had when he came to town. She'll get tons of story, and she'll get it right away. But I don't think it will hurt Kassie DePaivia/Blair at all. Tognoni's return as Kelly should help Blair, Dorian, and all the Cramer family to have more storyline and conflict. Kelly has always been a huge source of conflict for the Cramers because of her feud with Blair and her marriages to Viki's sons. Kelly's return is the best thing that could happen to Blair and Dorian and their portrayers. The actresses who should be most worried about reduced storyline and screen time, in my opinion, are Susan Haskell and Bree Williamson. Haskell has been on the back burner forever now, and nothing short of her going back to Todd or Thorsten Kaye coming to town as Patrick or Ian is going to get Haskell off of that back burner. As for Williamson, Mitch's return will keep her in the spotlight for the rest of the year, but her storyline will be simmering down when Kelly returns. To some extent, all of the actresses aged 20-50 will be affected by Tognoni's arrival. The thing is, Tognoni really is that good. 

"What will life be without soaps? This is a heartbreaking rumor, and I, too, won't believe it yet. Will bringing Gina Tognoni back as Kelly save OLTL? -  Stacy

Will Tognoni SAVE OLTL? I don't see how. The only people that can save OLTL are Frank Valentini, Ron Carlivati, and Brian Frons. It's up to them to cut the fat they created and then create something better. They need to put the entire show back onto Viki, Dorian, and their core families. They need to find the Viki/Dorian of the next generation and tell the type of storyline people never forget. They need to get very bold, very daring, and they also have to get a better casting director and get rid of every cast member who cannot act. They should have Mitch go on a killing spree. A serial killer but not a mystery. We already know Mitch is the murderer. We see the murders happen. The suspense is whether Mitch gets caught. Which eventually he will, but not until he kills a bunch of people - starting with Kim and Stacy! In a way, I'd say Mitch could save OLTL more than Kelly, because he can kill people and get rid of the dead weight.   

"I am thinking that they are going to turn Nick into a bad guy. That way Fish will save his love Kyle from big bad Nick. Just a gut feeling."  -  Warren

Yeah, I can see that coming from a mile away. Nick's a little to nervous and possessive. But I sure hope they find a way to keep him on the show. If you only have one happy gay couple (no pun intended), and no other gay or bisexual men around, then the gay guys are pretty much stuck in Happy Couple Hell and will quickly fade to the back burner (after they sue the hookers for custody of Stacy's demon spawn, at least). They should keep Nick and maybe bring another gay guy or let one of the characters be bisexual. What about Ford? They should bring Ford back as an unabashed bisexual man who seduces everyone on the show. Hello?

 

That's it for this week.  Please send your OLTL thoughts, complaints, suggestions, and desperate pleas to:

Robert Iger, President of Disney (ABC Parent Company)
robert.a.iger@disney.com

Anne Sweeney, President of Disney-ABC
anne.x.sweeney@abc.com

Brian Frons, ABC Daytime President
500 S. Buena Vista St.
Burbank, CA 91521-4551
Brian.Frons@abc.com

Frank Valentini (Executive Producer)
C/O One Life to Live ABC Daytime
77 West 66th Street
New York, NY 10023
frank.valentini@abc.com

Ron Carlivati (Head Writer)
C/O One Life to Live ABC Daytime
77 West 66th Street
New York, NY 10023
rcarlivati@yahoo.com

ABC Comment Line: 323-671-4583

OLTL Viewer Comment Line: 212-456-3338

ABC Daytime Feedback Line: 212-456-7777

Thanks for reading, and don't forget to e-mail me.  PLEASE include your name or an alias in case I choose to print your comments!

 

Until next time - don't forget to feel the Craze! 

Jeremy in Chicago