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UPDATED 11-24-08
CRAZE
Crazy
Town
Lately, it seems
like half of Llanview is headed for the loony bin.
 One way to satiate us rabid soap fans is to showcase storylines that
feature nut bags. On soaps, nut bags come in different
categories. There are the textbook psychos like Margaret
Cochran
(one of the most entertaining soap performances of all time from
Teri Signor), who are crazy from day one until the day they
inevitably are killed off. Allison Perkins fits into this category,
and the whispers of her imminent return are gaining ground. But
hard-line psychos are not the only flavor of crazy in Llanview these
days. We have, in one corner, most of Viki's relatives. Tina, who knows
the difference between right and wrong but isn't informed by that
knowledge; Todd, who doesn't know the difference between right and
wrong until well after the fact; Jessica, whose mind is a dark
alley of chain mail and glass shards; and Viki herself, whose
current stability is going to be pushed to the limits when she
starts to lose it this week (thanks to her nut bag family). Marty,
though clearly through no fault of her own, is about two steps away
from lunacy. Then there's Brody, who seems completely recovered but
will nonetheless have to take up residence at St. Anne's in order to
work through his post-traumatic stress disorder and avoid a jail
term for shooting Rex. And so begins the long-speculated crossing
of paths between Messica McNutbag and Brody Lovett, when they
finally meet this week.
 I have a
healthy skepticism about the Jessica/Brody pairing. I think the
writers and the audience alike should keep an open mind and not
force a romance between these two. Their bond should form very
naturally over their mutual situation (living at St. Anne's). Neither character is in a position to be thinking about
relationships right now. But it makes perfect sense for the writers
to start building a possible romance down the road for them,
if the chemistry is there. Bree Williamson's Jessica, when
integrated, poses a problem. She's boring. It's been proven time
and time again, as evidenced by her relatively short tenure as the
lead personality before the writers had to haul Tess back out for
another stint. As soon as Jessica was supposedly integrated and
found happiness with Nash, she became one of the most boring
characters on the show. Finding Jessica a replacement for Nash is
not going to solve the problem of her character. Mark Lawson is
brimming with potential as a break out star, but that's no guarantee
that he'll have chemistry with Williamson. Even if the chemistry is
there, once the characters get out of St. Anne's we'll be right back
to square one with the Jessica character. Where the true potential
lies in this storyline, I think, is a long, slow build up of a
relationship between the two, followed by an ongoing struggle with
mental illness (possibly compounded by the return of Mitch Laurence,
which would tie Jessica/Brody back in with Rex/Gigi if Rex is
revealed to be Jessica's brother and Mitch's presence is threatening
all of them). I see Brody falling for Jessica, and Jessica trying
to push him away because she doesn't trust herself or feel that she
deserves to be loved. But Brody will persist, and serve as her
protector, and eventually Jessica will have to admit that she loves
him, too. That's IF there is sufficient chemistry. I just hope the
writers realize that Crazy Jessica and her Alters is a better
ongoing scenario than Integrated Jessica. Keep Jessica unstable,
keep her alters around, and let everyone deal with it. Keep her
kids with Natalie and Jared. This provides long-term angst and
keeps the Jessica-Natalie relationship strained and dynamic.
 But let's not
get too far ahead of ourselves here...will anyone be joining
Jessica and Brody at St. Anne's? Todd's fate could be prison, or
even death (if the recent threats against his life are any
indication), but he very well could be remanded to St. Anne's and
FINALLY forced into therapy. By that time, Marty will need to be
working again, and what better place for her to practice her skills
then St. Anne's? Probably still amnesiac, Marty's assignment to
Jessica, Brody, and even Todd's cases could be a nice way to tie her
deeper into the canvas. Of course, if the admittedly far-fetched
scenario of Marty psychoanalyzing Todd came to fruition, it could
prove riveting as well as provide TPTB a clever way to continue the
Marty/Todd saga. Then there's Allison Perkins, who we last saw in a
coma. But if she were to start recovering from that state, she
could easily find herself once again bouncing off the walls of St.
Anne's. In my dream scenario, Lindsay Rappaport would be deemed
"too unstable" to remain in prison (after faking a nervous
breakdown) and have to be transferred over to St. Anne's as well! Hey - if Jessica doesn't work out for him, I'm sure Lindsay would be
more than happy to help herself to a little Brody Lovett lovin'!
Monday,
11/17
"CRADLE OF HOPE"
- I thought it was clever to include Nora in on all of this
Todd/Marty drama and fallout, considering she was there when it all
started.
- The Cole/Marty
scenes were very powerful. Suddenly I care about their relationship
a lot more than in the past.
- And...Brandon
Buddy seems a better actor in Susan Haskell's presence.
 -
Even in Todd's fantasy confession, he's not telling Marty the
complete truth. Does he even now what "truth" means? He makes it
sound like Starr only just decided to keep her baby, and doesn't
bother confessing his plan to steal it! What a great "truth
fantasy!"
- Oh boy: We have
DNA material from the dead baby. You know what that means! Ladies
and Gentlemen, prepare yourselves for a DNA test. Just don't ask me
how long of a wait it's going to be. Could be years.
- By the time
Starr realizes her baby is alive, Natalie might have custody of
her.
- Kassie DePaivia
rocked her scenes today. I liked the understated pain she expressed
when finding out about Todd and Marty. Today made me think that
Blair will not be going in the bad girl direction I advocated, but
that perhaps she will still be entertaining and relevant.
- But for a
moment, I thought Hurricane Blair was about to be unleashed!
- The Nora/Marty scenes were crazy good.
- But once again,
I feel TORN about Todd/Marty. I hate Todd, but yes I LOVED Todd and
Marty together. This is classic soapiness!
- When John told
Blair that Todd was going to steal the baby, and Blair told John
about the baby dying and Todd being at the hospital, wouldn't John
(still a detective at this point), be struck by the coincidences
lining up here? Where was the suspicion? This rang false.
 - I think Marty
might end up at St. Anne's with Todd, Brody, and Jessica, by the way
she is acting today!
- Starr's uterus
shrank really fast. Lost all her baby weight overnight! How about
that, ladies?
- My biggest
surprise today was how great the John/Blair scenes were. In fact,
they were the most emotionally connected and touching John/Blair
scenes to date. Blair does not seem insecure about Marty at all,
and John doesn't even seem to be thinking about Marty. This is
quite a surprise. These scenes, combined with Todd's romantic
fantasy of what "could have been" with Marty, point squarely in one
direction, folks: QUAD time.
- I was SHOCKED
by Marty taking the morning after pill. That was kind of gutsy of
the writers. But I wonder if morning after pills fail to work
sometimes? In any case, is this a first for daytime?
- What a great episode (again)!
T uesday,
11/18 "PLAN B"
- Clint should not have told Jessica about Tess' crimes without
consulting her psychiatrist.
- Does
Messica even HAVE a psychiatrist?
 -
I cannot BELIEVE Todd just bragged to Cole about sleeping with his
mom. That was SO wrong.
- Brandon
Buddy is improving by the day.
- I was SO
ready for Blair to rip Todd's nuts off. And she did not disappoint.
-
Blair: "Starr's baby is dead. GOD I wish it was you." Damn.
- Blair: "I
believed in the man I thought you could be. So many times I looked
inside you, Todd... and I thought I saw love. I thought it was
real. But all that's inside you is a dead, black heart."
Double-damn.
- Blair: "You
know, it would have been better for everyone - especially Marty - if
John had just beaten you to death." Triple damn.
- I guess
it's safe to say that all the Blair/Todd fans out there, if there
are any left, can give up their pipe dreams now. Ain't happening,
folks.
Wednesday,
11-19
"I
KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD SCREAMS"
- The upcoming Brody/Jessica story makes so much sense. You have
two characters clearly headed for St. Anne's if they want to stay on
the canvas. They're both single, and obviously have a lot in
common. Maybe the chemistry won't be there, that's not something I
can vouch for. But regardless of whether they turn into a successful
romantic pairing, the point is they should have a story together
now, and they might not be alone at St. Anne's. Allison could turn
up there, and so could Todd. And remember, Marty will need a job at
some point.
 - So, if Soapnet
ever goes through with a OLTL spin-off, it should definitely be all
about life inside St. Anne's!
- But I really hate Jessica. How dare she tell Natalie that she
still can't forgive her? Look, biatch, you tried to MURDER people. Natalie and Jared lied and your hot-headed dumb-ass of a husband,
Nash, tried to get violent. Jared basically sidestepped him, as
anyone would, and now he's dead. And you equate lying and
sidestepping with multiple accounts of attempted murder (not to
mention baby switching)? Give me a BREAK!
- I never thought
I'd see Marty Saybrooke swear to devote her life to the purpose of
revenge.
- Ah! It seems
that the inside of Jessica's mind now has its own set! I love it.
I especially love the broken glass shards which project digital
images during the scenes. The set design and direction of these
scenes are excellent.
- In the Bess/Tests
scenes, Bess implies there are several more personalities. Oh,
joy. Let's see... Chess, Dress, Hess, Ness, Quests, Sheds, Wes,
Vass, Zests... ?
- LOVE the scenes
inside Jessica's mind. This is brilliant. Although if your mind
looks like that, honey, YOU CRAZY!
- Why didn't Wes
(oh wait, that rhymes with Tess!) mention that Brody doesn't WANT to
go free? Hello, wasn't that the whole point of his visit?
He didn't ask Gigi and Rex to convince Brody to seek help rather
than go to prison? There seemed to be some continuity problem in
the writing.
- For once, I
agree 100% with Nora as she told Todd to stop blaming God and accept
what he did.
- There was a
long scene today where Bree Williamson played Jessica as
hyperventilating throughout. And it annoyed me.
 - Oh dear. I
think a certain red head decided to utilize the good ol' eye drops
today! I really hate when an actor has tears going down their face
without the appropriate emotion being believably delivered.
- Bree
Williamson, in the hyperventilation scene, kept looking down (her
eyelids completely covering her eyes). I may be TOTALLY off base
here, but it really looked like she was reading her lines out of a
script, and then looking up at the end of each line. And since the
hyperventilation seemed forced and false, I became more convinced
that there was a script or something on Jessica's hospital bed.
Hope I'm wrong, but that's what it seemed to me. Otherwise,
Williamson has been having some truly excellent moments.
- Why is everyone
acting like Jessica will "be fine" and that Tess won't come out
again? Does NO ONE remember how this happens with Viki like every
other year?
- This was
another fantastic episode.
Thursday 11/20 "A
LIE OF THE MIND"
- I miss Nathaniel Marston. Chris Stack has no charisma. None.
- I got so excited to see Dorian's reaction to the Marty
news....but she already had found out, off-screen. Boo.
- I think I have
to decree that Michael McBain be renamed Michael McShitsy, and that
he forthwith be clumped with the other Shitsies and limited to one
appearance
 per week, with minimal lines.
-
The Viki/Tess scenes were awesome, and SO much better than any Viki/Jessica
scenes.
- Bo: "John went
rogue." Ah, I think the writers are having a little election time
fun with that line!
- YES, BLAIR! SMASH THAT VASE!
- I have to
wonder if Marty sleeping with Todd has in any way tarnished John's
attraction to her. Because some men are like that.
- Funny how a
$1,000 vase breaking is only a minor irritation for Dorian. Must be
nice.
- Michael
McShitsy is SUCH a wimp!
 - Did you see the broken reflection of Viki inside Jessica's mind
during Jessica's introduction to Bess? BRILLIANT!
- I just heard Todd's life being threatened. You know what that
means. I've had a really weird feeling about Trevor St. John's
status with the show and all those weird rumors that have been
floating around. People threatening Todd's life does not help to
ease my fears!
- Just think of a
Todd murder mystery! The suspects: John, Marty, Cole, Starr,
Blair, Dorian, Nora, Dr. Joplin, Janet, any of Jessica's alters, and
the list goes on. It would really be something.
- I loved seeing
Viki deal with the raging Tess.
- Also loved the
Blair/Dorian scenes.
- Thorsten Kaye's
picture!!! Just no "Brown Penny," PLEASE!!!
 - I'm so sure the press can just waltz on into the police
department whenever they want. It's absurd.
- The people of
Llanview who watch soaps must get really pissed off with the
constant broadcast interruptions for local police drama.
- Can you believe
Viki just slapped an alter right out of Jessica? I could watch that
for days.
- This is clever
of the writers: Tess is now the trapped heroine who is putting the
truth together, and Bess is the villain.
- Tess: "She
wasn't there when the baby got born." Ugh. And now I have "Baby
Got Born" set to "Baby Got Back" stuck in my head.
- Dorian: "Your
relationship with Marty used to be as toxic as - "
- Blair: "As your relationship with VIKI?" OH SHNAP! Good one,
Blair.
- So TPTB are
finally getting John out of the LPD, huh? So what's their plan?
Friday 11/21 "FORGET
ME NOTS"
- Why doesn't Viki ask Jessica why all of her alters must rhyme?
- Is Dorian going
to egg on Blair to the point where she lets her jealousy and
paranoia rule her again?
 - Viki would know
that Bess' appearance means there is another secret. That is what
gate keepers are for!
- Blair just said she SAW Marty with Todd? HUH? I didn't see
Blair in a scene with Marty and Todd yet, did you? What the... ?
- John is really throwing a tempter tantrum today.
- Why doesn't
Viki tell Messica about Marty being alive? Does Viki even know?
Why hasn't Viki heard about Todd yet, or even visited him?
- OH NO. I was
horrified to see those stupid paper planes return. Now I definitely
don't want John and Marty together!
- Todd should
attempt suicide. I really think so.
- I LOVE that
TPTB are giving Todd the scar again. It's too perfect. But I bet
Trevor St. John isn't too happy about sitting in the make up chair
every day. That sucks.
A LETTER TO TPTB,
by Antwon:
 Thanks for ruining the return of Andrea Evans, an actress who played
an unforgettable character and helped make OLTL number one in the
late 80's, and who was brave enough to return after 18 years to the
place she fled in fear, from a job and role she loved dearly. I
always believed Andrea would return one day because she always said
so in her interviews. I never dreamed it would be as bad as the
last 6 months have been. Not one bonding scene between Viki, Tina
and Todd. Not one civil conversation with full siblings Todd and
Tina. Instead we witnessed Todd calling Tina an idiot and
manhandling her as he threw her out of his house. Would it have
been so hard to write one scene where Todd asked Tina some questions
about Irene? How about asking to see a picture of their mother or
her favorite flower, color or movie? Something to show them
bonding before they returned to being estranged.
No... instead I
got Andrea stuck with a bunch of newbies in a story that makes me
hurl to think about. A fake princess, crown jewels, and a plot
about a secret room? That's all they could come up with? Really?
I'm pissed. Not one scene with Blair or Dorian? No - they kept
Tina isolated. The only person I enjoyed her with was Roxy and even
that was brief. The writers could have gone so many ways with this
story. They could have had Tina confess everything and help save
Natalie and Jared and
 still leave out of guilt for taking weeks to
do the right thing. It's not like there wouldn't still be tension
in the house. They could have had Sarah get a call from CJ saying
he was in trouble or kidnapped by Carlo and Tina and Sarah left to
search for him. Tina has always loved adventure. But nooo, they had
to make Tina out to be the heavy and end with Viki banishing her
from her life forever - after all the heinous things Todd has done
and will do. The woman who was her god daughter and came to be her
sister is scum. Right. And please note I hate what Tina did and
I don't defend it at all. The writers made it impossible to defend
Tina in any way because they made it about the jewels and a dog. Tina has always been selfish, greedy and an airhead but she has
never ever been malicious or cruel.
I'm sorry that
Andrea even returned at all. I wish now that she had stayed away.
I wanted to
print this letter because honestly, Andrea Evans' return WAS a
travesty. It was probably the worst return in the history of
daytime.
How on EARTH
can TPTB justify to us viewers their decision to place Evans in a
storyline with the worst cast members on the entire show, completely
isolated from the characters we actually wanted and expected to see
her interact with, and in a plot so ludicrous and offensive to
taste that we can only question whether TPTB intended to sabotage
Evans? TPTB made a mockery of Evans' historic contribution to the
show. However, in recent weeks, Evans really hit her stride. I
agree that Viki banishing Tina forever is just an excuse to write
Evans off (not only because Viki isn't that unforgiving, but also
because Tina owns Llanfair along with her). The real problem is
that TPTB never had a storyline in place for Evans. They just
crammed Tina in with the Shitsies in some sort of twisted experiment
(or perhaps, attempt to sabotage her return), then put her in the
mix with Tess. And in a way, the Tess/Tina stuff worked. The
writers' biggest failure though, was not making the stakes high
enough for Tina to remain silent about Natalie and Jared being
trapped in the secret room. The vague threat of Carlo from Tess'
perspective, was really not a threat to Tina. Carlo is just as much
of a threat to Sarah's safety with or without Tess' big mouth. If
Carlo wanted to find Tina and Sarah, don't you think Llanview would
be his first stop? Duh. Tina's failure to do the right thing in
this situation rang false solely because the writers made her look
stupid. Her selfishness and lack of logic are established
cornerstones of the character - but she is not supposed to be
stupid.
And as Antwon points out, maybe the biggest crime of all is that we
didn't get any Tina/Blair or Tina/Dorian scenes. All I have to say
about that is that the writers are idiots for not involving Tina
with the Cramer women. Idiots. As for Todd, if he does wind up at
St. Anne's in the future, and he's finally forced to undergo
therapy, wouldn't Tina have proven an invaluable resource into his
childhood? HELLO!? They grew up as cousins, after all. Tina could
be written to know all sorts of things that could provide insight
into Todd's storyline. But... no. And now Tuc Watkins is set to
return, but Tina won't be there for him. We could have had a
Dorian-David-Tina triangle!!!!!!
Instead of
making Tina the black sheep of Llanfair again, how great would it
have been for Viki to return from Africa, only to realize that Tina
was the one who unraveled Tess' scheme and saved Natalie and Jared? What if Tina had mixed it up with Dorian and helped Charlie figure
out what happened the night of his black out? What if Tina had met
John McBain and taken a liking to him, to Blair's chagrin? And what
a shame that the obvious similarity and bond between Tina and
Natalie was forsaken, all for Tess? And what a shame, too, that CJ
Roberts has somehow been completely forgotten by TPTB, as if he does
not even exist. The list goes on and on here, but the essence is
that Andrea Evans was underused, misused, and abused. And so were
the fans. I for one hope and pray she does return, and this time
gets some material worthy of her legacy (take note, writers, if you
are planning to bring back Mitch and Allison...).
MAIL
REPORT
"I don't buy this morning after pill stuff! Marty
wanted a baby. Why then would she kill a potential
one? The baby would be HER child, too! Does she think
that any part of Todd is pure evil? If so, does this
mean that she thinks that Starr, Jack, and Sam are
worthless, useless, vile human beings who never should
have been born? I'd like to see Marty alone with Sam
after learning that Margaret raped Todd in order to
conceive him. Could she honestly look at this little boy
and see pure evil? Think the world is better off without
him in it? I think not! It would also be interesting to
see Marty react to the news that Margaret raped Todd and
to learn that Todd is a rape survivor, too! Would she
even care? I want Marty to discover that she is pregnant
with Todd's baby after all! I want to see Todd & Marty
find their way back together, get married, and have
their baby! I much prefer this to a John/Marty pairing.
A John/Blair/Marty triangle would be extremely boring!
YAWN!" - Ann
It
did actually cross my mind this week that Marty could turn out to be
pregnant anyway. Perhaps the pills did not work, or perhaps she
could not bring herself to swallow them. I was surprised TPTB did
the morning after pill thing, but actually I thought it was
interesting, unexpected, and in a way, brave. I am more focused on
Todd paying AND BEING FORCED INTO THERAPY - preferably with Marty as
his therapist - than on Todd/Marty reuniting...but I would be lying
if I claimed that part of me isn't hoping Todd and Marty do find
their way back to each other, like WAY in the future after Marty has
completely broken Todd down. I think TPTB would be idiots to bypass
the Marty/Todd as therapist/patient angle. A lot needs to happen
before Marty could EVER consider Todd romantically. It might not be
possible.
"If
Blair 2.0 could have explored a quasi-Samantha ala SEX IN THE CITY,
we might actually experience a mature sexual affair where neither
partner lies about their intentions, suffers from self-esteem
deficits, does not apologize for their sex drive, or is hypocritical
and misogynist...After Todd, Jon could have made sense had the
storyline not centered around the taming of Blair but rather the
release of her need for male approval. Jon does not approve nor
disapprove. Jon is inert. The experience could have been purely
Blair’s discovery of her true colors with Jon’s bed as little more
than her canvas. Yet, the culture must punish women for even
indulging evolved sexual consciousness so we will not see this
storyline." - Citizen K
Yeah, I totally
dig this idea, but it's not "soapy" enough for a writer to run with
it. However, it does seem as though the writers are lifting Blair
up from her dependency on men. She and John are communicating openly
and honestly, which certainly wouldn't be happening ten years
ago. Blair has evolved, and it's kind of nice. But something is
still missing that allowed this character to drive story for
years. The fierceness of Momma Blair stands out from time to time,
but her lack of deviousness and insecurity has kind of taken her out
of the picture as far as the overall plots go. For now, I'm going
with Carlivati and DePaivia on this, because I found Blair
surprisingly compelling this week in her lack of manipulation, and I
appreciated her anger and dismay with Todd. I'm just not sure what
future storyline will find Blair at its center. Those days might be
over.
"Such weak
convention (the baby switch) is really of little consequence
when executed so well. This is vintage soap writing because so many
characters are organically invested... Because the show has taken
the time to develop these characters, we understand/empathize with
their involvement. I even like Cole, who up till now, has sucked the
sparkle from our Star. And Bess works! And now that Marcy’s mourning
with Michael, maybe she can put down the scissors. Why they haven’t
worked Roxie into this current coif crisis is a mystery. But back to
my accolade of this baby switch: Perspective. Priorities. Haven’t
been this impressed with an umbrella story since Mary Poppins." -
Citizen K
Ah! I couldn't
have said it better myself! And I must agree specifically that Cole
has been very likeable, and Bess definitely works.
"Did you happen to
notice Todd's reaction when Todd and Marty first ran into each other
at the hospital in their wheelchairs? Todd looked down but he also
(I thought this was really telling and an excellent choice by TSJ)
tried to cover the handcuff on his wrist with the blanket or
whatever it was. It was like he was embarrassed and ashamed. The
handcuff was in plain sight later. But it was just this small
gesture that spoke volumes! Trevor St. John pulled if off
beautifully!" - Susan
Unfortunately I
didn't notice this, and deleted the episode before I could check it
out. But it sounds like a great acting choice - and I'm not
surprised! This has definitely been some of Trevor St. John's best
work. He is playing SUCH an extreme character, someone who would not
last five minutes in the real world (he'd be in jail or a psych ward
or dead), and manages to keep his portrayal realistic and even
subdued most of the time. It makes for a very compelling performance
- no doubt about it!
This column will be taking a break next week so that we can enjoy
the holiday with our families as well, and will return the following
week.
That's
it for
this week. Please
send your OLTL thoughts, complaints, suggestions, and desperate
pleas to:
Robert Iger, President of Disney (ABC Parent Company)
robert.a.iger@disney.com
Anne Sweeney, President of ABC
anne.x.sweeney@abc.com
Brian
Frons
brian.fron@abc.com
Until
next time - don't forget to feel the Craze!
Jeremy in Chicago
Take our poll survey and vote
LAST WEEKS
COLUMN
Comments and Feedback??
JeremyInChicago@soaptownusa.com
Photos
courtesy of ABCWEBPIX
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