From the moment I heard that the nuptials were occurring poolside, I just knew someone was getting dunked before the party was over, and Nikki did not disappoint me.  I was hoping for more of a Krystal vs. Alexis Dynasty-type battle, or for Sharon to at least grab Nikki and the two of them go in together, but it was an LOL moment for me when Nikki made her move.

While Nikki’s and Jack’s wedding went off in style, and we all got to witness them basking in the glow afterwards, poor Sharon couldn’t locate her groom on their wedding night. Now we all know where Eric Braeden is, but having Victor just vanish is a lame way to deal with it–he’s roaming the docks of LA? What? But Sharon, even in her addled hungover state, still was apparently able to remember their pre-nup; when Avery asked her for it, she denied all knowledge of the document. Sharon is fuming over Vic’s departure; and sneaky Nikki didn’t help by sending her a message on Victor’s found cellphone saying the marriage was a mistake and it was over. Still devious after all these years. But Nikki sure didn’t expect Sharon to burn the pre-nup paperwork in the fireplace when she thought Victor had dumped her.

Tucker stumbled into the mess that is Sharon by stopping by the ranch and offering to help her find Victor. He ended up chauffeuring her to the Abbott ceremony, then managed to pour her back into the car for the return trip. He was surprised (or was he?) to have Sharon put the make on him when he got her into the house. But she flopped into a drunken slumber before they went any farther. But that didn’t stop him from showing up the next day to offer his services to her. Can we smell a new couple here? The two of them have boinked just about everyone else in Genoa City, so I guess this conquest was inevitable. But when Sharon started plotting to destroy the pre-nup, Tucker beat feet out of the ranch.

I must say that if the Restless Style TV premier had been a real show instead of a reel show, it would have flopped after the first episode. Three talking heads sitting at a desk firing off oneliners about the Genoa City locals seemed boring, and Billy promising even bigger dirt on Phyllis would have made me wonder. If I was a faithful follower of Restless Style, I’d have to ask why Billy would be so aggressively attacking his sister-in-law and former trusted employee. If he is not above attacking family members, whom would he go after next? Would he air the nude centerfold pics his wife appeared in back in the day? How about the fact that his little stepson Reed’s parentage was in question until testing was performed? Billy is ready to sacrifice family and friends for ratings, and IMHO his cred had to have taken a big hit among viewers of his gossip show.              

Did you notice that when Phyllis went to the Abbott house to confront Billy and Victoria over what he might next report, they both blasted her for her horrible behavior, and how she herself never cared whom she hurt when she was at Restless Style, as long as she got the story out? They condemned her for it, and reminded her of all the people who suffered. But they are ready, willing, and able to do the same to those around Phyllis. Not that I think they shouldn’t go forward with publicizing this story, but telling Phyllis how bad her behavior has been then turning around and practicing the same behavior is just plain hypocritical. They might take the stance that Phyllis deserves a taste of her own medicine, but by lowering themselves to her level, they become just as bad as she is. Billy even promised Victoria that some topics would be off-llimits, ensuring that his reporting would be biased. And now, since Billy was just blowing hot air when he promised a Phyllis scoop for the next episode, he will be shoveling the dirt like crazy to get a scoop.

It was an awkward first date for Neil and Harmony. First they went to different locations to meet, then they got a brand new waiter at Gloworm who of course messed up their order. After their food didn’t arrive but Neil did get an ice water bath, they decided to go to a movie. Cute!  Of course the theater’s air conditioner was broken, and Harmony lost a heel on her shoe. But they ended up at Crimson Lights and shared a kiss, just in time for Tucker to walk in and witness it. 

It’s only been a week and I’m already tired of Tim Reid’s blackmail story. I’ve witnessed it a million times in soaps; the victim defiantly tells the blackmailer to leave him/her alone and no money will ever be paid. Then the blackmailer briefly reminds the victim of whatever evidence they are holding, and the victim caves in like a rockslide. Why have the victim make so many empty threats only to agree to pay the price so quickly? In Phyllis’s case, she paid with Summer’s trust money, but told Tim she would kill him if he ever asked for more.  Well, of course, after that, Tim’s fate is sealed. Someone is going to kill him, and Phyllis will lead the suspect list. I’m predicting that if/when Tim does go toes up, it will be Beth, Paul’s neighbor, who does it.

Paul is all ready to plead guilty over Ricky’s death, even when he heard that Eden was undergoing hypnosis to get at the truth. Paul’s guilt feelings are overwhelming him because of his belief that he abandoned his son during the kid’s formative years, and should have done something, anything, to save Ricky from himself. Paul is just one big quivering mass of remorse, and thinks a conviction will relieve those feelings. 

Someone needs to slap some sense into him, and I’m thinking that Heather is building up to do just that. If Paul feels so badly about his parenting efforts, he should concentrate on being a good dad to Heather, who grew up thinking some other guy was her daddy. The best tribute Paul could give to scummy Ricky would be to get out of the self-pity playpen and be the dad Heather needs.

By the end of the week, Eden had undergone hypnosis, screaming and thrashing about everytime Ricky’s name came up, while Kyle fretted protectively about her. It’s just a matter of time before this whole mess is cleared up, and Paul is free. The fact that Cricket (whom I just cannot warm up to no matter what) departed back to DC on Friday was a definite indication to me that this storyline will be over soon, so that the focus can go completely to Phyllis. Phyllis, meanwhile, took another shot at her own foot by paying Tim the blackmail money, and of course Nick caught her. He sent her to her sister to confess, and it was apparently the final straw for Avery, who stunned Phyllis by dropping her as a client, and instead accepting an offer from Heather to take on Paul’s case. Has Avery finally had her fill of Phyllis? Phyllis seemed to be unable to process becoming the hot potato that Avery finally dropped. She then trotted home to Nick, who informed her that the money transfer had gone through. Poor Phyllis! She will never learn! 

So what should we expect next? Well, if Nikki does tell Sharon that the message was bogus, Sharon is going to feel silly, because she will know that when Victor returns from his vacation he will wonder how his briefcase got smashy-smashed and the pre-nup got destroyed. But til he blows back into town, doncha think Tucker and Sharon might get together?? She’s already done the Newman men, maybe she’s ready to branch out to a new family!

And it’s only a matter of time before Eden remembers everything, Paul is released, and he gets backburnered again. I would hope that his guilt feelings over Ricky’s death would not just dissipate overnight, but rather that he would continue to deal with them. As most of us know, losing a family member causes longterm angst. 

And with Cricket gone, is there anyone else left in town who really wants to see Phyllis be punished for her crimes? No one else has bee as vehement about hating her as Cricket. I’m thinking that she will eventually get off, but her marriage will suffer greatly, and the coverage from Restless Style will make her a public pariah.

But the biggest thing I’m expecting in Genoa City is change. With Maria Arena Bell gone, and Jill Faren Phelps on the throne, we will see some actors move to the forefront, while others may disappear. This always happens when a new person takes over, and if you’ve followed Phelps’s soap career, you might guess which actors are her favorites and which are not. Bill Bell’s family pretty much has no control at the show any more, so it will be Phelps, CBS, and Sony running things now. I can only hope that their first move is to break up Sharon and Victor, and their second will be to promise that Daisy is not just merely dead, she is really most sincerely dead!

And something I meant to mention last week: Call me sentimental, but I love it when the ghost of John Abbott drops by to visit. He connected with his namesake baby grandson, who seemed to be able to see his grandfather. John and Jack chatted, with John expressing his displeasure over Kyle’s unhappiness, and also at how Jack has pushed Ashley out of the company. Later, he reminded Ashley that she needed to follow her dad’s longstanding advice to find her happiness. I miss John; he was a good representative of the older generation.  We see Kay on a regular basis but Murphy only seems to be brought out for special occasions, such as the wedding. Soaps need to remember that their viewers are of all ages, and so should their characters represent those ages.

Thanks to David in Canada for his letter, “I used to write in to Martini Kitty when Y&R’s column was Kitty’s Colonnade. I haven’t watched Y&R in over a year partly due to commitments at my volunteer work, but mostly because I could no longer stand Maria Amoeba BullCrap’s writing skills (or lack thereof) turning this show in to a big mess. This week, in your new column, I was ECSTATIC and HAPPY to learn that she has been given her pink slip. Finally! Except for the beginning and middle stages of the former Phick romance, Y&R hasn’t been all that watchable in around four years.

With all the mess Lynn Marie Latham and Maria Amoeba BullCrap have done (I could write for pages), I hope that Jill Phelps does a very good housecleaning as the new executive producer/head writer. Her first order of business should be to survey viewers as to which storylines can stay and which need to be dropped and forgotten, which characters need to stay and which characters need to go, and which couples need to stay together and which couples need to break up and get back together. She should then fire the untalented misfits that were responsible for the show’s current dismal state, and hire fresh new blood who KNOWS THE SHOW’S HISTORY AND THE HISTORY OF THE CHARACTERS, and can write CHARACTER-DRIVEN STORYLINES!!!! It’s high-time this show be saved and restored to its former 80’s glory. (For storylines that need to be dropped, they can start with Christine’s re-opening the case to hang Phyllis! More on this later.)

And yes, Ms. Phelps NEEDS to put her “Fire ’em” skills to work to get rid of the unneeded riff-raff currently populating Genoa City – Sophia, Adam, Anita, Chelsea, Avery, Heather, need I go on? Phelps especially needs to do away with Victor and Sharon, even though they’ve been on this show for a long time. I have long since gotten tired of Victor’s mental, physical and emotional abuse towards his family, especially Nikki, in his lust for power and control. I would like to see him lose everything and run out of Genoa City with his tail between his legs. Christine (aka: Cricket) seems to be just as revenge-hungry, and I’ve heard through grapevines that her character was nothing to swoon and get excited over. I’d gladly finish the job that Phyllis started on her. As for SharHo, she has proved herself sluttier than even Carrie and Samantha on “Sex and the City.” I’ll never forget how she slept with Diego when he was with Nick’s sister, Victoria, all those years ago; used sex as a way to get back at Nick for his cheating; made advances on, and slept with, Brad when he was with Victoria the whole time (their tryst in New York City, and their romps together during and after her marriage to Nick); slept with Cameron Kiersten in Denver when she abandoned her husband and children; and played musical beds with Jack and Brad in the post-Shick years. Don’t get me started on her shoddy parenting towards Noah and Faith! Now she’s going back and forth between Adam and Victor, and flaunting her fling with Victor in Nikki’s face? It makes me sick just thinking of it! SharHo needs to sew her legs shut. In response to Sam and others from the previous week’s column: it was bad enough that Nick left Phyllis to sleep with the Skank from the Black Lagoon again, but this show will stay off my TV if Shick ever gets back together to fall in love again! With all the lies, fighting, suspicions, cheating and revenge sex they went through, why would you want a couple this dysfunctional to reunite if it’s only going to happen a second time around?

Let me close by saying that the character of Phyllis needs to be restored to the mature woman and mother that I knew and loved, instead of the bitch she was 20 years ago. I only hope that Jill Phelps doesn’t hate Phyllis as MAB did. Michelle Stafford is a true acting talent, and she deserves much better than what she’s been getting. If Phelps is unwilling or unable to reform Phyllis and drop all this nonsense against her, then maybe Stafford should leave the show, have Phyllis written off, and explore other acting projects to see where the grass is truly greener.

I hope that Phelps can save Y&R. There are long-time and short-time viewers – myself included – who’d like to watch again now that MAB has left the building.”

David, I appreciate your analysis of the show and ITA, especially concerning Victor and Phyllis. I know Vic is the big cheese on the pizza that is Genoa City, but he does need to suffer some reversal of fortune. Always coming out on top in everything, always being right, always being pompous, always being all-powerful and all-controlling does not endear him to viewers. And Phyllis is, IMHO, an example of a character who has indeed grown and matured, as opposed to so many soap characters who never change.  But the bottom line in the upheaval at the executive producer level is that Phelps will indeed shake things up.