I know I’d believe it if I were in fictional Los Angeles and I followed the ‘Cat Walk’ TV show as well as paid attention to fashion news. I mean, let’s pretend we’re all fictional LA’ers and we’ve read scandal sheets and fashion news like most every other nosy person out there. Brooke’s now boring as hell, no more delicious baby drama scandals and throwing herself at married men, Donna’s being married to an old goat is a freaking joke of nature that has about as much appeal on Cat Walk as a trained Pomeranian and at least the dog’s hair would look more natural, and Katie......well Katie’s always been sort of boring anyway but now that she’s married to Bill Spencer, everyone knows WHY she was made CEO of Forrester Creations. (you know, that good old fashioned Logan Leg locking, knee-hitting raises they get???) Yep, the LL’s are basically BO-RING now.

Let’s get back to the REAL world, of soap operas and characters. SAME bat time, SAME bat channel. BOR-freaking-RING. The ratings prove it. The Logan Coven is knocking down ratings faster than pins at a professional bowling tournament. You either hated or loved Brooke, there was no middle ground, but like ‘reel’ people in LA know, Brooke is now simply yawn-inspiring. She can’t have anymore kids to destroy other people’s lives, she’s finally a married woman with no rival because Taylor has too much class and dignity to go riding a horse to stop Ridge from doing what HE wanted to do, and she is now stuck in ankle bracelet “OH WIDGE!!!” mode. Threatened to leave town because she couldn’t have her WIDGEY and he refused to leave Taylor’s home, spouting off garbage about how she couldn’t handle it and mommy needed her anyway, then as soon as her emotional blackmail worked, suddenly she didn’t care about Mommy anymore. Some daughter, huh. She’s failed at being both a mother AND a daughter. Betrayed BOTH of them.

Donna’s got nothing. Zip. Zilch. She hit town being the bad girl wanting to infiltrate the Forresters even if she had to sleep her way through the entire clan to do it, was supposedly going to be the new ‘sex kitten’ in town to replace the aging Brooke, but gained practically no fans or following. Got stuck with the old geezer, making her look ridiculous and him even more so, and when that didn’t work, here comes an adopted out son and his father to spark interest in a Donna pairing. THAT isn’t working despite a foiyn Justin who wants to get her attention. Now that we know she’s ‘interested’ in Justin again and thinking about him, the marriage to Eric looks even more like a golddigger and an old goat. No vested interest for anyone there.

Lastly, there’s Katie, the sobbing, pathetic baby sister who constantly ran around with the “woe is me, everyone hates me, I’m the black sheep of the luscious Logan sister family” crap, hitting town  acting like an ant at a picnic. Caused a little drama for Nick, that busted because nobody really cared since her being alive was at the cost of Storm’s death. Now she’s head of a fashion house and married to Bill Spencer? Again, BOR-freaking-RING. No wonder ratings are hitting near an all-time low. The Logan Leglockers are slaughtering interest in the show.

Don’t try to email me and tell me “Get over it, Megs, ALL the soaps ratings are down, soaps are dying anyway, more women are going back to work, you’re just jealous, you hate the Logans anyway, they’re fantastic, they’re sexy, blah blah blah.” UH....Nope, they aren’t; NOPE, they’re not; SO WHAT, there’s DVRs and recorders now;Jealous of what, A FICTIONAL CHARACTER???; fantastic, in what, sex? Probably.  Come on, people, Days is gaining, Young n Restless isn’t losing as fast as Bold is, and soaps are still huge draws. The problem here with Bold is that there’s an overkill of Logans, Brooke is no longer fun to watch for EITHER side, and two big fan favorites are on the back burner, proven ratings grabbers. Hopefully, according to spoilers, we should be seeing the latter improved some.

Anyway, like I said earlier, the Coven is destroying ratings. That entire ridiculous bridal shower of Katie’s with all three of them jumping on the bed was stomach-wrenching. ALL THREE of them where they are because they used sex and manipulation to get there. Brad Bell made it clear a few months ago that the Logan women used their bodies and sex to get ahead, well damned if they aren’t, and it’s killing the ratings. Unless the writers get back to equality on the show, stop shoving LoganMania down our throats and bring back out proven winners like Thorne, Taylor, Felicia and other under-used ratings spikers, we’re going to see high 1’s. There’s just so much of Widgey Whining about Wife that we can stand, so much of Brooke worshipping the ground he walks on we can bare, and so much of the Donna/Katie crap we’re willing to ingest before we all turn the station off for good. Someone best remember that.

Here’s some random thoughts about last week.

1. Nick and Bridget, can they POSSIBLY be as stupid as that??? Bridget going to the same hospital that screwed up Taylor’s IVF, (what, there’s only 1 hospital in LA???) Nick not hiring a private eye to completely investigate a possible surrogate after what happened with Jack, and neither of them picking up on the vibes coming from Sandy????? I have a HUGE bone to pick with the writers about this storyline, but I’ll save that until later.

2. Justin and Donna, can they POSSIBLY be as gut-wrenching as that???? It’s so obvious Justin wants Donna, and even more clear that “MRS ERIC FORRESTER!!!” as she loves telling everyone she is, is eyeballing Justin like a hungry piece of meat. OMG, Donna is the worst talk show hostess ever, even a greyhaired cooky woman doing a stupid dance that looks like she’s had one too many funny mushrooms to eat upstages her.

3. Bill and Katie, can they POSSIBLY be more sleep inducing??? “OH BILL, this is where it all started for me, a poor little valley girl sleeping in a cardboard box and playing with a rat and now I’m married to a billionaire!!!!’ paired up with Mr. Permanent Smirk on my Face because I own half of Los Angeles. Blech. I was starting to like Bill and Katie, but this last week’s writing and the goofy wedding really upchucked anything I could stomach with those two.

4. Ridge and Brooke, can we POSSIBLY see less of them as a couple??? There’s just so much “OH WIDGEY, WE”LL GET THWOUGH THIS!!!” paired up with “Dammit, Logan, it was mine, mine mine...MINE...MINE ALL MINE..” we can tolerate. It was bad enough we had constant dead fish scenes and spit swapping. Now that Taylor’s decided she’s better off without WaffleMan and he’s been emotionally blackmailed into marriage, those two have nothing to watch them for anymore. Drama and trouble and pain and overcoming bad things around them is what makes a couple worth watching. That was TRIDGE. Not this mini-version of Tridge they’re trying to pass off AS Tridge called Bridge. Why do you think there are no family scenes??? Because they’re going to age Hope and RJ AGAIN to cause them trouble. THEY”RE BORING.

5. At least we got to see Thorne and his mom and dad boycott the wedding and have some cute scenes together. I miss Thorne. Mr. Harmon is a banging actor and damn good looking, we need to see more of him.

6. What the heck is this with Steffy now??? Looks like she’s part Brooke, part Taylor. Is THIS what we’re going to have to put up with for a while? I’LL PASS.

7. Finally, I have a HUGE HUGE HUGE HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE bone to pick about this surrogate storyline. First off, where’s Jack and why isn’t HIS surrogate storyline being put to rights, with his mommy Taylor??? Brooke should have no part in Jack’s life now that the writers decided to do Bridge instead of Tridge and Brick like they were going to do, hence the original surrogate storyline for Taylor in the first place. JACK BELONGS TO TAYLOR. Brooke needs to be wiped out of it. ALL fans will thank you for it, Brad, Bridge fans don’t want any ties to Nick, Taylor fans want her to have her son back, Brooke fans for the most part don’t want the stigma for their girl of 5 kids by 4 different fathers and the nastiness it carries. END IT. SECONDLY, it was heartless and CRUEL for Bridget to be laughing with Carl of all people about the mixup. This entire surrogacy story is tacky and tasteless after the Jack heartbreak and garbage that came out of it because the writers switched gears. THIRD, why is it kids are used only for pawns or weapons or pain now??? The Tridge kids were really the only kids we’ve seen on the show for years and years that were born loved and wanted and in a happy relationship. What a horrible, horrible way to use kids. Hope, RJ, Jack, Rick and Bridget, hell, seems all the Brooke Logan kids were stigmatized. Bridget loses Nicole, another pregnancy and now she can’t ever have kids???? This is ridiculous. Somebody better fix Jack’s story before this new kid is born.

No funnies this week, I’ve had a very busy week moving in my grandbabies who’ve come to live with Granny with their mommy! Some of you remember that I lost my dearest husband last month due to Congestive Heart Failure, and now I’ve got 4 darling granddaughters all under the age of 5 along with their mother helping ease the pain somewhat, so Granny was rather busy getting everyone settled in. Treasure each moment with your loved ones, folks, you never know when someone’s going to run a red light, a health problem hits out of nowhere and takes a loved one, or it’s just time. Thanksgiving is coming up and we should all take a few minutes a day to remember our loved ones and how blessed we truly are.

Megs